Monty Python Parrot Sketch...A classic

This is the best Monty Python sketch in my opinion.

Gamer tag

By the way, for anyone playing Xbox Live, my gamer tag is Jaydogg523. Also check out this plan to take over the world as imagined by a fifth grader. He has a pretty legit plan.

Beards Redux

So about two weeks ago I posted a blog about how I thought the movie "The Thing" was awesome. I stated that in my opinion, the movie was made as awesome as it was by Kurt Russell's beard. Then, to my horror, Casey decided to critique my opinion by saying this (notice that he doesn't capitolize the "i's"): "i dislike scary movies for the simple reason that they do not scare me - they just don't - but i do own JC's "The Thing" - it is a classic... but not because of KR's beard" First of all why does Casey call Kurt Russell, "KR." Second, this was a low blow. Obviously the comment obliterated anything I had left that could be called confidence. So after two weeks of moping around without confidence I discovered something that made me shout with joy. It was this article on Cracked.com. To save you the time of reading the entire thing I will summarize; the article deals with the 7 hardest people to kill in recent history. For most of these people it took multiple people firing multiple weapons, and a bit of bad luck before they breathed their last. If you pay attention to the list you'll realize that all of them have facial hair. And four out of the seven have full on Kurt Russell beards! Not to mention that one of the seven is named after his beard (the dreaded pirate Blackbeard)! Now after coming across this knowledge you may be asking yourself how does this affirm Jacob's previous post. Well it doesn't really. But how awesome is it that beards almost always make you cooler!? And harder to kill...

Gummi Bears

Gummi Bears are the best candy. Not only do they taste good but you can play with them before you eat them. Usually my Gummi Bears end up in sexual positions or being tortured. That may be a commentary on my character, but I just refer to it as "entertainment."

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The Thing

Today I watched "The Thing" for the very first time. It was pretty much a bad ass movie about an alien infesting a science station in Antarctica. But the best part wasn't the alien. It was being in the presence of Kurt Russell's beard. It was a full on man beard. I am envious. This beard scores a 8 on the Richter Scale. If men were judged by their beards, Kurt Russell would be Hercules. In the history of the world, there has been no manlier beard, except maybe Moses or Darwin. I never really follow the rules of no-shave November or "Novembeard" but maybe next year I will in honor of Kurt Russell.

Admire it...

Colts

If you are a Colts fan you know that today's win was big. We are now in position to grab one of the two wild card positions left and have beaten Pittsburgh, New England, and Baltimore...all playoff teams. It the Colts can win 5 of their last 6 games, which should not be that hard considering those teams are San Diego (4-5), Detroit (0-10), Cleveland (3-6), Cincinnati (1-8), Jacksonville (4-6), and then a season finale against the Titans, who probably won't play their starters. Also working in our favor is that we are finally getting healthy and in-sync. I think this could be a Super Bowl Season after all. But if the Colts don't make it to the Super Bowl...GO GIANTS!

Why blogging is hard.

Today in class McArdle came out of nowhere and said, "That's it. I'm done. You all can leave." I was disturbed by his outburst and it has caused me great distress throughout the day. Why did he do it? Is this a test? Is this a head game? Am I thinking about it to much? I came to the conclusion that it was an Irish temper flare. I know what many of you are thinking. An Irish temper flare where booze wasn't involved! Crazy! You may think so, but it's entirely plausible. It's also plausible that the endless bunny trails caused him to go into a greater depression within himself. Or he could just be mad that we aren't blogging enough. I know I'm not. So I have prepared a 5 point reasoning on why I do not blog more often in order to provide peace to this situation. I will also provide solutions.

REASONING
--Politics
--I live among the generation of Internet users who's attention spans are limited at best.
--I am easily distracted by my Digg feature.
--Moon phases
--Leftover senioritis

SOLUTIONS
--Roll-over Blogging. You can blog more than twixe a week and your extra blogs will be carried over to the next week.
--Prize give aways. If the top blogger was given a prize at the end of every week, we would be more inspired to blog. Top blogers are the people with the most high quality blogs per week.

Assignment for 10/29

Eng 101
1. I think that it is obvious that all writing and writing must begin with questions or inquiry. I have no problem with this one.
2. Inquiring on anything is a verbal process. I don't get how it could be visual. Unless that means you must "see" the writing in front of you? So I guess I'm half good on this one.
3. Your audience has to question your writing. Your writing has to question the audience. I understand this one completely.
4. The audience has to question the writing or reading in order to have argument. No problem on this one either.
5. I like to write. I also like to revise old papers and make them better structurally and rhetorically. No problem here.
6. As Yoda would say: Research leads to Understanding. Understanding leads to Knowledge. Knowledge leads to Rhetoric. Rhetoric...leads to Good wwwwrrriiiitttttiiinnngggg.
7. I like working with others towards a common writing goal. This one is okay for me.
8. I am very confident in my writing No problem on this one.
9. Everyone has to take responsibility for their own progress. This is not high school.

Course Content & Format
1. Inquiry in writing and reading spans all writing and reading. It is different and similar for different genres but the core idea is the same.
2. We do this in class quite a bit so I think I am good here.
3. I don't really understand what this one means.
4. Again, we do this in class all the time. I understand the process and I find it to be helpful to my writing.
5. I've been doing this since high school. No problem here.
6. This one is a work in progress. Will be done by the ending of this year.
7. I have had to think about the process many times during my writing. I am good on this one as well.

University Core Curriculum Goals
1. Well I am not the proverbial "life long learner," that all the Philosopher/Teachers continuously talk about, yet. But maybe I am working towards this goal still.
2. This is at times challenging. I have the vocabulary of a child...
3. I try to maintain my niceness to my peers when they talk about their stupid values. Mine are superior obviously. But all kidding aside, I am very respectful of other people's values and I have no problem communicating mine.
4. "Study the past if you would define the future." - Confucius
5. I do this everyday. No problem on this one either.
6. I have no problem with this one either. I like to specialize my learning based on my own likes and dislikes.

Log #7

Monday, Oct. 6th.

Tim read his log. We then got into a circle and discussed various Letters to the Editors. A memorable one was read by Boston. It commented on the fact that Ball State University is not prepared for a full scale zombie outbreak. I find this disturbing. If there were a zombie outbreak, I would like to live on a campus with some decent survival plans set in place.
McArdle Official Word Count (MOWC)
"Wah": 4 times
"Hilarious": 3 times


Wednesday, Oct. 8th.

Today we did peer reviews of everyone's "Letter to the Editor" or "Your Turn" articles. My groups discussion quickly went from being a peer review, into a general discussion of problems at Ball State, which are to numerous to number.
MOWC
"Wah":3 times
"Hilarious": 2 times


Friday, Oct. 10th.

Today we critically reviewed papers written by Amy Walls and by James Rasley. Amys was about parking issues at Ball State. Her friend was ticketed four times in one day. James paper was about gas prices. He had a lot of facts in his paper. It inspired me to put facts into mine. Also, Mr. McArdle is starting to realize how much he says "Wah" and "Hilarious." He is comically trying to catch himself before he says them, but it isn't working.
MOWC
"Wah": 1 and 1/2 times
"Hilarious": 3 times

Letter to the editor

Purpose: to call for a better mascot

Writer: Me

Audience: BSU students

Never let someone have a second chance

Have you ever been destroying one of your friends at a game of Madden? Have you ever looked at their face whilst the are losing, and seen the face of a beaten foe? Have you ever felt sorry for them? Well I have. Today I was beating my roommate at a game of Madden. The score was 28-17. There was 50 seconds left. I decided...in my infinite wisdom...that I would throw a willing interception so that he could score a quick touchdown. He did and he got a 2-point conversion. I then decided to throw another interception to give him false hope for a last minute field goal. This is where things started to snowball. He not only made the last second field goal, but he got the ball first in the overtime. He then mocked me as he slowly marched down the field and won the game. This brutal mocking left me in tears. With my spirit broken, my hopes crushed, and my dreams shattered, you would think he would say, "Thanks for giving me a second chance." He said, "Sometimes some people are just better players." What is the moral of this story? If you are ahead in Madden and you see your friend looking defeated, do one thing. Crush them. Mercilessly and without any kindness. Laugh at them and destroy them. never give them a second chance.

-Jacob

This McArdle character seems legit.

Check out his facebook page.

Here's the link.
Check out the hair!

Nick Jonas Steals the show.

Let's recap this week. The stock market fell to the lowest low since right after 9/11. AIG went bankrupt along with the Lehman Brothers. The government had to bail out our economy with money we don't have. Then in a massive turnaround, the stock market bounces back up. Obama and McCain have been trading blow after blow in one of the most important elections in decades. And the top story on Yahoo.com is...Nick Jonas turns 16. Seriously.

My Couch

This is my couch and it is the topic of my significant Object essay.

The Deterioration of Movies

It's official. "Disaster Movie" is now the worst rated movie of all time according to the website IMDb. Why does this crap continue to be made? Easy answer. Because they are cheap films to make and they gross a couple of million dollars in the box office and on DVD. But why? Have we lost all of our principles? Don't go see this movie, please. Don't contribute to the fall of mankind.

Brainstorming

What makes an object significant? I'd say that it is something important, that holds a certain weight. Something that is of value. I think I'm gonna do my white Nike Shoes. Even though Casey talked about his baseball shoes, or something, I am going to do shoes too. May be cliche, oh well. So what is important about my shoes. They have been to England, Scotland, my high school, here at Ball State, and in the hospital I was born in. What makes that important? That is my past, my present, my future, my ancestors, my family, and my friends. All the grains of sand of my life have been tread on by these shoes. As well as some random dog shit.

Three Grapes, a Free Cat, and Getting Lost in Translation

Language is beautiful. No matter who you are, you speak a language. It’s how you communicate, or in my case, don’t communicate. It’s how you express your individuality and ideas to the rest of the world. Language is unique, and sometimes too much so. This weekend I was once again made aware of the various cultures throughout our world. And of their differences to ours.

It all started with a haircut. A simple process really. But one I apparently cannot do without creating confusion. What I had thought was going to be a routine trip to my cousins in Kokomo for a routine haircut, quickly turned into chaos. When I arrived at the barbershop I found out that my cousin had decided to take off early and go home. Ok, no problem, I’ll just go talk to her there. Not so. When I got to her house I discovered that the reason she had left early was because she was going to a family reunion in Tennessee. Great for her. For me…not so great. So being the quick thinker that I am, I decide to call my other cousin (named TJ). After explaining my situation to him he decides that it is best that we go to a Steak house in Indianapolis for dinner. Why not? I mean gas is only like $20 an ounce nowadays. So off I go.

I realize on my drive that I have time to kill. Just as that thought leaves my neurons, off for thought heaven, I see a billboard for a Flea Market. On the billboard they are advertising free grapes. For some reason, this sounded outstanding to me. I mean, come on…free grapes. Who doesn’t like grapes? Especially when they are free. So I take my exit and head over to what looked like a small city, known as the Daleville Flea Market. This thing is a monstrosity. How I was going to find my way out of it was a hard enough question to answer, let alone finding the grapes. When I say small city, I don’t exaggerate. There were mountains of random knick-knacks laying around. And lots of old and sometimes priceless treasures. Priceless as in they should be price-less. In other words, free. After about a half an hour of hacking through the hundreds of salivating salesmen (I think they can smell fear), I finally found the grapes. Or more I found the grocery section. And it is full of food. Lots of food. Lots of fruit. Oddly lots of “fresh” ocean fish (Remember we are in Indiana). When I found the grapes I discovered something that made my heart sink. A frightfully dramatic looking Chinese lady who seemed to be in a rather nasty stage of rigor mortis, was watching them. “Hey!” the corpse coughs at me. “You wan free grapes!?” I must have been giving off the fear scent again because she pounced at me with surprising agility for a decaying person. “Here you take!” She then thrusts a bag of three grapes into my open hand. “Thanks.” I manage to respond. Then out of nowhere, my brain comes up with a thought. Maybe I can get some fresh pineapple for free to. So I regain the carcass’s attention and ask her if the pineapple is free. Suddenly a look of terror filled her eyes. “You…wan my cat?” she asks. At this point I had no idea what to say, so I respond with the most readily obvious answer. “Sure.” She then goes into the back and retrieves a cat, that no kidding makes the Chinese lady look like a nice laid back person of 30. This cat has about three patches of hair on its body. And those patches are wiry and graying. This cat was probably older than most of the junk I had previously seen for sale at the flea market. With tears in her eyes, the Corpse hands me this creature. But before the transaction can be completed, I quickly correct her, that I only wanted the pineapple. She was so happy that I didn’t take her cat, that I got the pineapple for free. This is the first time the art of language truly hit me as important this weekend. With a simple mistranslation, I had almost taken a dying cat from a zombie-like Chinese lady. It could have killed her.

After leaving the Chinese lady and her cat to happily rot together, I got back on the road. I decided that I had had enough adventures for the day and went straight to the steakhouse. I arrived about a half hour early, so I was forced to sit alone and wait for my cousin. You never really know the feeling of insecurity until you are sitting by yourself in a Ball State t-shirt in a steakhouse in Indianapolis. But it is at the worst times that the best things happen. At that steakhouse, at that time, I happened to arrive at the end of the shift of one, Mary Yostanovichka. She was a Russian foreign exchange student, and she decided to spend her free time hanging out with me until my cousin showed up (forty five minutes late I might add). We had a good long conversation about many things that were way beyond at least my maturity level. And in all this time, the things I remember the most are the smile, the laugh, and expressions on her face. The words didn’t matter as much as the meaning did. Language can only take you so far, but that is when the universal language of human emotion, takes over. When the Chinese corpse wept for its dying cat, when Mary smiled, that was the real communication. The rest just gets lost in translation.

-Jacob